The Moon Over The Hills

by Mike Beucler

Back in the country we like our privacy. In fact, we like it so much we find it offensive to see a plane go over head. But what is a country guy supposed to do about it? Simply moon them.

But what if you are a proper lady? You know you can’t go around mooning airplanes. There is only one thing you can do: show them your tits.

I guess it really didn’t start with a privacy thing. I suspect this reaction to airplanes and helicopters started when they outfitted the police planes with heat sensors and started flying over the area looking for pot. I am almost sure that is when the mooning started.

It doesn’t take long for a simple thing like that to get out of hand. It wasn’t long before – as soon as a plane was heard, and it was located in the sky – a mass mooning was called for. Bottoms down, or tops up.

It wasn’t long before anything that annoyed us was met with the same response. If you find yourself without a snappy comeback: Bottoms down or tops up.

I have to admit it didn’t take me long to learn how to annoy the girls in the neighborhood (tops up) and I know at least one girl who would annoy the guys (bottoms down). I do have to admit though, in the years to come, she had much better luck dating then I did.

It all became commonplace after some time. In fact, there is only one real image that sticks in my mind. And I think it is better that my wife never finds out who that image is of. And more importantly what she looked like. That would only cause trouble.

It took me most of college to stop mooning people that annoy me. And it took some time to learn that girls outside of the country don’t flash you when you bug them too much. There seems to be a totally different way to get city girls to flash you. The easiest of which is to pay them 10 bucks to do it.

I still have the urge to moon the things that annoy me. I still moon airplanes when no one is looking. I just hope, someplace, the old neighbor girl is flashing the same plane

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