basketball season

Parole Models

As we prepare to open another long and boring basketball season, it would appear that the Bulls’ re-signing of will make this season somewhat anti-climactic at best and excruciatingly boring at worst. Since the championship is already a foregone conclusion, let’s concentrate on where the real action is: The ever-lengthening arrest records of the NBA’s top troublemakers. And no one can claim a larger selection of All-Star felons than my own Portland Trailblazers, known locally as the Jailblazers.

Blazer owner and Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen, living proof that you CAN have too much money, built a new stadium here in Portland featuring no knee room and $4.50 12-ounce cups of Budweiser, hiring General Manager Bob Whitsitt (make up your own rhyme for “Whitsitt” here) away from Seattle, and Trader Bob went right to work turning the Rose Garden (slogan: Budweiser Feels Good On The Back Of Your Neck) into a… Continue reading