pop culture, reviewed

We all know that I enjoy Oprah, right?  I’m kind of a sheep when it comes to Oprah, but today, she’s letting me down.  I’m totally lost.  Someone please try to explain this fellow Robin Thicke to me. 

Now, my television just told me that he is a “Grammy-winning artist” and according to iTunes, he currently has the 53rd most popular album, and Oprah claims he’s good but, um… I just heard him sing a terrible song in a terrible way and I’m pretty confused.  The sounds that he was making were, to my ears, a mix between a particularly awful American Idol audition and the tiny whimpers that Little Sammy makes when I try to give him his medicine.  The lyrics were no better; they were something to the effect of “would that make you love me?”  whined over and over and over again.

Someone help me.  He’s singing ANOTHER SONG on Oprah right now.  It sounds exactly like the first one except that this one features a piano and has different, but equally annoying repeating lyrics (“she’s not complicated, I’m too complicated”).  Still making the sad Little Sammy squeaks and just did a Taylor Hicks-ish “woo.”  I’m scarred.

I get that he’s Alan Thicke’s son and he’s not ugly, but… whoa.  Oprah just told me that I will love every cut on this CD and the audience is hooting and hollering like they believe her!  What is going on here?  And he’s on tour with Beyonce?  I have a new celebrity  mystery.  What is going on?!