Scandals

Monica Lewinsky Thru Zac’s eye

By Zac Elston

So you su*ked the presidential di*k, what are you going to do now? Disney? Hollywood Squares? Guess hosting Entertainment Tonight (will they insure your lips for 2 million like Mary Heart’s Legs?) or maybe a weekly news column on the state of sex practices in America today?

On the drive to work today I fantasized about a conversation with Ms. Lewinsky. The City Paper here in DC already had one of their staff reporters give a tell all detail of their date one night so I won’t even pretend to put things in her mouth. Nor will I misrepresent her in any way, but none the less I still wonder what would happen if I met Ms. Lewinsky and she was forthcoming about certain details.

I guess my first question would be if she got anything in return? Is the President a caring man–soft but firm –or… Continue reading

Fuck-in-law

Person who has slept with someone you have slept with-a relationship that has taken on special meaning in the age of AIDS. Alternate terms include “sex degrees of separation” and “Eskimo brother.”

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Fisher, Amy – Scandals

In 1992, Amy Fisher’s affair with auto mechanic Joey Buttafuocco and her attempted murder of his wife created a new paradigm for the American media. The combination of underaged sex, violence, and working-class mores turned this Long Island couple into celebrities, further dissolving barriers between news reporting, infotainmment, and plain old sleaze.

The burgeoning tabloid TV industry had a field day with the Fisher story, dragging more esteemed news sources along for the ride; one week in winter 1992-’93, three different networks aired “Long Island Lolita” TV movies, two starring authentic ingenues Drew Barrymore and Alyssa Milano.

Fisher was convicted and sentenced to 5 to 15 years; Joey did 6 months for statutory rape, but not before parlaying his fame into countless invitations to quasi-jet-set parties and one small film role. (He was fined in 1995 for soliciting an undercover policewoman in Hollywood.)

Amy and Joey were eventually forgotten, but… Continue reading