Bad to Good (Don King: Only In America)
Don King: Only in America begins with a staccato bass rumble and tenor mantra “Money, Money, Money.” We recognize the song and no sooner do we tap hands to thigh and feet to floor, nod our heads to to and fro, does the film show an act of brutal violence. Cut from King stashing money into a pillow case in his Cleveland home to three black-clad, black-skinned thugs abreast crashing down his door, cut to them pistol-pointing in the direction of King and his money, cut to a steady-cam framing in the scene’s climactic increase of volumes: the soundtrack has… Continue reading
A Rob’s-Eye-View of Summer Blockbusters
While molten lava spews out of Los Angeles’ streets, and dinosaurs devour unfortunate extras in the Caribbean, and tornadoes rip apart everything in their path (save for Helen Hunt’s sports bra) – one begins to wonder whatever happened to those “Ernest” movies.
I mean, sure – “Ernest Goes To Camp” won’t be featured at Cannes any time soon, but if you’re going to make trite, meaningless films lacking character development or plot – you could save a couple hundred million by laying off the special effects.
And, why why WHY does every big-budget cheesy flick have to star Tommy Lee… Continue reading
Schmaparazzi! Schmaparazzi!
Wow. Never in the history of Denizine has an article gotten the kind of response as my last one (“Paparazzi Schmaparazzi”) did.
I still stand by what I said on Saturday about the media placing too much attention on paparazzi, and down-playing the initial corroner’s report on the blood-alcohol level of the driver. However, there were some flaws with my article on Saturday, and new information that has come forward.
First, there is the question of whether the driver was drunk or not. A forensic pathologist representing the al-Fayeds have concluded that the driver was not drunk. However, you should… Continue reading
Paparazzi, Schmaparazzi!
I think it is. Am I the only one who realizes that no matter how many people are inadvertently killed by paparazzi, drunk driving will kill thousands more?
Sure, I’m kind of happy to see this turn on the paparazzi, the “modern bounty hunters”; the “legal stalkers” – but, really – is this as big of a problem – globally – as is drunk driving?
What I find amazing is that it’s the media themselves that are placing the attention on these photographers. The very same photographers that brought Diana into our homes every week, the reason a billion people… Continue reading
A Summary of Rob’s Week of Reigning Geekdom
On Friday, July 11, my “Geek of the Week” page had gone up on HotWired – my 15Kb of fame began! And, it started out awesome!
I received an email from a web designer in Indonesia who said he was a fan of the Denizine, and to keep up the good work. That made me feel wonderful, since I felt the Denizine was extremely Midwestern American in tone and content.
Then, I received an email from a close friend and former co-worker. This email was more telling.
Ummmmm….congratulations?
Maybe we need to have a talk, Rob.
Geek means…oh nevermind. I’ll… Continue reading
There’s No Pleasing Some People
Wow. I can hardly believe it. You know, sometimes you dream about things – winning the lottery, for instance. You buy that ticket when you hear the jackpot is up to $20 million, never believing you’ll win, but just because that one dollar investment gives you half a good week of daydreams.
Well, some dreams do come true.
Okay okay okay..For some reason, I thought that the prize was going to be an Apple PowerBook, so when I filled out the form, I did so with as much pizzazz as a guy like me can muster. And, well..Looking back, I… Continue reading
Why the Generation X Is Afraid of Clowns
Dean couldn’t go. Or maybe I decided not to ask him. I forget. I know that I would have had to pass his house on my bike en route to the theater, so I’m not exactly sure why Dean didn’t go, but I do know that on that hot summer day, I rode my Schwinn up to the Fairview movie theater alone, sat my 12 year old fat butt in the front row, armed with a box of Dots, and watched Steven Spielberg & Tobe Hooper’s “Poltergeist.”
Poltergeist changed everything. I had no time to prepare. It was PG,… Continue reading
Sorry, Farley
As of this writing, the toxicology report on the death of Chris Farley has not been released, but reports have said that there were no signs of drugs or drug paraphanalia found in his apartment.
Earlier this year on the Howard Stern show, Saturday Night alum and film co-star David Spade could be heard discussing Chris Farley’s health. Spade had told Howard that Farley could wind up dead if he didn’t start taking care of himself.
And so, I didn’t take it as a big surprise when I had heard the news of the 33 year old comedians’ death. I… Continue reading
The Beltway Warrior
He began as a figure in my rear view mirror. I was on auto-pilot, not really paying attention to my surroundings and buzzing at 85 miles an hour. It was a daily 30 minute commute to work on one of the fastest roads in America; the Washington Beltway. This asphalt circle inscribes the capital landmass and is home for a million other commuters twice a day traveling as fast as they can in an endless dance of Russian roulette. Each day, the over confident and weak are thrust to the shoulder as the rest of us await our turn in… Continue reading
Monica Lewinsky Thru Zac’s eye
By Zac Elston
So you su*ked the presidential di*k, what are you going to do now? Disney? Hollywood Squares? Guess hosting Entertainment Tonight (will they insure your lips for 2 million like Mary Heart’s Legs?) or maybe a weekly news column on the state of sex practices in America today?
On the drive to work today I fantasized about a conversation with Ms. Lewinsky. The City Paper here in DC already had one of their staff reporters give a tell all detail of their date one night so I won’t even pretend to put things in her mouth. Nor will… Continue reading